A work in progress... but it may as well be live along the way

10.27.017: cliché

​Handing back change shouldn't be an art for. And ye, as a skill, it is lost. And art should be transgressive, exposing the unknown edges, representing frailties in such a way that they are both nurtured and destroyed so that upon reconciliation things are seen in new, fresh way. So, let's start at the beginning. Money is the root of all evil.

utterances: over my head in the shallowest depths


Somehow fitness has become equated with narcissism rather than self respect. I am guilty of the judgement, too, because it is partly true. Having a good body in no uncertain terms pings the pavlovian response of "sexy", but it means so much more. It's about fitness, caring for oneself, it's a practice of devotion and following through with consistency. Yet still I know that it mostly all comes down to looking and feeling desirable. And when that becomes the indicator of our self worth, we are in the realm of the superficial. But a nice cover suggests a decent book that has done some work and thought through some things... unless those things are actually psychological trappings left over from a childhood and the child is a wild behemoth making all the decisions, or that high school rejection, or or or... is the influence sleeping or is the body aware?

I get the problems of body shaming, but outside the passive second chakra influence, isn't fitness and honoring the body a really essential action?

Because, really, it's the obsession that becomes unattractive, the unacknowledged psychologies gone horribly awry, the onslaught of perfect choices and living dogmatically in those choices. I don't blame people for it on the inspirational level. I've been there in small, sitcom bites of focus. It is a powerful responsibility to flirt with body-image obsession becasue we have been conditioned into a certain passivity in so many realms. The marketplace, the food system, the psychologies. Sure, people might just live active lives to build a better body, but with a deeper awareness, we are fighting the a system that feeds mostly fillers and preservatives. The industrialized processes of our largest cultural (lowest common denominator) agreements add far too much clay to our bodies, minds and souls. And the truth is, if a person isn't wholly obsessive about health and medicine (food) and physicality, the world will insidiously work its way into the equation. It's dangerous to NOT be healthy, too. Making conscious choices in action and consumption is admirable. It is a spiritual choice to fight the laziness we are being conditioned to live within passively.

And so for me, what a body is offers insight into the choices of a person. Yes, the standard of a "perfected" beauty is far too high. It's untenable. Yet looking more closely at the reality of it, the body is a record of your most personal choices. I want to be around people engaged in that tricky, challenging dialogue with themselves. I don't think it's wrong to be "superficial" in that way. And honestly? I wish the whole work was challenging themselves into that dialogue. I'd much prefer that we all be working towards a lighter step in the day to day. Progress, not rationalizations.

In other terms: I am an "old man" in forty years, I need to take care of that old man now.